A Poem

This is a poem I wrote when I was going through a tough time…before I received the Alpha Wisdom. Hopefully it can inspire one of you to remember to always look out for yourself! 🙂

The silence is deafening

I cannot focus

It’s as if a cloud of cold ocean fog

Came creeping through my window in the dead of night

I’m afraid that my senses have become distorted

The morning air doesn’t feel so crisp

My cinnamon latte tastes lackluster

The place where my heart normally flutters

Has lost all rhythm

Each and every time

I fool myself into thinking that I have changed

‘I won’t let this one in’

Yet every time I find myself asking

‘Where did that piece of my heart go?’

I let them take a part of me with them

But how long can I continue allowing this to happen

Before they take every piece of me I have left…

Ladies watch this: a rape PSA that finally ‘gets it’

Finally, a video that tells MEN not to rape. I’m tired of seeing PSAs or articles telling women how to take precautions not to GET raped. It’s about time we start teaching our boys not TO rape.

An Alpha Doesn’t Dwell On Her Mistakes, She Learns From Them

“Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

~Sir Winston Churchill

I was never good at keeping a diary. I would buy a pretty new notebook, filled with beautiful, empty pages… full of promise. My first entry would be pages long, promising it that THIS time, I would write in it always. Yet, without fail, the 95 other pages would stay crisp and empty… waiting for the day that I might spill secrets on to them.

But I came to discover that there are days in our lives that don’t need to be discussed out loud. There are moments that happen, that are too painful, embarrassing, or idiotic to speak aloud. So who do you tell?

“No one” is the wrong answer. Sometimes you are weary of telling your girlfriend that you called him again, after she specifically told you not to. Maybe you don’t feel like letting your best friend know that you think that you “love” this one….but more than the last ten.

Sometimes when we speak out loud, we become deaf to the words that escape us. Trying to please them, our family, ourselves even…we will say whatever it takes to convince them (or us) that everything is ok.

But it’s not.

And that’s ok.

I always told myself that without evil, there can be no good. Without darkness, we cannot appreciate the light. We cannot fully understand the blessings in our lives, without feeling immense sorrow. And that’s ok.

But what’s not ok, is to pass over these bad moments and pretend like nothing is wrong. If something is wrong, tell someone. And if you can’t tell someone…tell yourself.

I had this beautiful, black hardcover sketchbook. In its spine were clippings from a wedding magazine, waiting to be pasted onto the pages in hopes of inspiring me (when the actual time came). Well after my break up with the imagined groom, I thought it would be an ironic sponge to soak up my dating pains.

And so I wrote. I wrote everything that I was ACTUALLY feeling. Things I didn’t want people to know, things that I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. But I wrote them down anyway. And boy, was I glad I did.

Every time I met a new guy, a new subject of my attention in my life, I would write our story down. Some were just a page, some carried on a few more, but I always wrote it down. However, I made the grave mistake of never reading backwards.  I spent so much time focused on what was happening right then, that I refused to think of anything else. But I continued to write.

After the 4th or 5th round something clicked inside my head. A pattern was forming…. I didn’t sense it from the words being said to my friends, or the cautionary messages they were sending me. I didn’t realize it from my mother, who told me something similar every time.

It came from me.

Because one day, I had the smart idea to read from the beginning. And I realized that I was making the same mistake over, and over, and over.

So I wised up. I changed the pattern. And I broke free of the agonizing monotony that kept me miserable. I read each page, remembering WHY I was so upset, WHY they were idiots, WHY I let this happen to myself. 

So Alphas, whatever you do, don’t let history repeat itself. Whatever it takes: a diary, a video camera, telling your stories out loud… LISTEN to what you’re feeling. Because no matter what your friends tell you, what your family says, or what your self-help books demand… you will always know what is wrong. But until you FIND that pattern, and SEE what the little voice inside of your brain was screaming out to you, you will continue down the path of blindness.

So write.

-M

How To Find That Perfect Husband

How to find that perfect husband

Ladies… this post will be short and to the point. Read this article, and enjoy some  comic relief to your day. If you read this and say “hmm… this is a great article!” … you should be concerned. Follow my blog… But for the rest of you… enjoy. 

An Alpha Female Means an Educated Female

Over my standard college-fare lunch of rice and beans, I (coincidentally) came across some horrifying articles. To warn you… they involve economics. Fear not, I will still tie this discussion back to the Alpha female standard.

The first article I will be discussing was by The Cagle Post, called “Three Ways the Rich and Powerful Have Cheated Young Americans”. Here’s the link: http://www.cagle.com/2012/07/three-ways-the-rich-and-powerful-have-cheated-young-americans/. Of course, since all I can think about is how devastatingly poor I am as of late, I was intrigued to find out what injustices were being done to me. I wish I could say I didn’t believe what I was reading…

Firstly: “18 to 35 year olds: Your median net worth has dropped 68 PERCENT since 1984. It’s now less than $4,000″… FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS?! You have got to be kidding me. Yet as I stared down to my plate… and realized that the only food I could afford to eat that day was rice and beans… I realized that they were overestimating.

Our net worth has gone down ladies. Now, why is this? Let’s take a look.

Jobs: If you are lucky to have a job… you are probably not getting paid what you should. ‘Salaries for new graduates dropped 10% in the last YEAR…As wages are hitting an all-time low, corporate profits are hitting an all time high” So where is the money? Corporations today are telling us they don’t need me anymore. The author of this article talks about Apple. Everyone and their mother have an iPhone, they are taking over technology in almost all of its facets, yet they give only a few shits about anyone working at the bottom of the totem pole. “With 47,000 employees…Apple makes a profit of $420,000 per employee. Yet most Apple store workers make about $12 an hour” I don’t mean to be a stickler over Apple (I don’t need any comments from Apple employees about how awesome it is to work there… That’s not the point I’m making)

Then there is the myth of education as a “lifetime investment”. Back in the day, education was an investment. People generally had a hard time finding a high paying job without one. However, college tuition is becoming more and more ridiculous. “Since 1985, while consumer prices have approximately doubled, tuition has risen almost 600%” That is a six with TWO zeros following it. With such little job turnover after college, is education truly an investment anymore?! “Over half of college graduates were jobless or underemployed in 2011. More than 350,000 Americans with advanced degrees were receiving food stamps or some other form of public assistance”. The author brings up a good point… if everyone had a PhD… would there still be “guaranteed” jobs for those with higher education?

Doesn’t sound like a good investment to me.

Before I continue, please read another article I found by The Daily Reckoning, called Interesting Facts About the Student Loan Debt Bubble. http://dailyreckoning.com/interesting-facts-about-the-student-loan-debt-bubble/#ixzz20G3cYB9X

Some horrible statistics in here too:

“1 in 4 young Americans have moved back in with their parents after living separately” (Come on, that’s horrible both for us AND them)

“1 in 3 Americans have postponed marrying” (Who can afford a wedding today? the average cost of a wedding is $25K… That’s one year of my college tuition…for one day.)

“1 in 5 young Americans have delayed having a baby” (Everyone knows children are EXTREMELY expensive… but I think we are doing the right thing. If we cannot afford to feed OURSELVES… we should not be bringing children into this world yet”)

So what the HELL is going on here? Well ladies, we are at war. An economic war. So who are we fighting?

The older generation.

The people who raised us, the people who raised them, seemed to have forgotten about us. While people my age are struggling to get ahead in life, to even afford the college student’s life saving substance: coffee, the older generation is getting richer.

“There is a young America and there is an old America, and they don’t form a community of interest. One takes from the other. The federal government spends $480 billion on Medicare and $68 billion on education. Prescription drugs: $62 billion. Head Start: $8 billion. Across the board, the money flows not to helping the young grow up, but helping the old die comfortably.”

I’m not even going to touch on the subject of Social Security, which is a joke in of itself. But think about it… who is voting for all of these measures? “The 111^th Congress was the oldest since the end of the Second World War, and the average age of its members has been rising steadily since 1981…but nobody ever talks about the generational conflict. Who wants to bring up that the old are eating the young at the dinner table? Even the Occupy Wall Street crowd…shield away from articulating the fundamental distinction that fills their spaces with crowds: young against old”.

So how in the hell is this related to being an Alpha?

It is time for our generation (and generation of alphas) to realize, nothing is going to be handed to us. While the baby boomers settle in their comfortable retirements, we need to get up off of our tear-stained, cheap futons and realize that it is time to do something for ourselves. They may not care about our future, but we should. Our generation avoids conflicts, that needs to stop. PLEASE inform your friends, inform your neighbor, tell your classes, THERE IS A WAR GOING ON. A war between their generation and ours. Between us and them. And the time for us to sit alongside and do nothing is over.

Being an Alpha means being EDUCATED about your surroundings, your country, your world. The first step towards action is to BECOME EDUCATED. The Cagle Post says: “Your anti-war protest, if a time-weathered opinion matters, would include a flood of job demands at the offices of US and state senators and representatives. In person and online. You are part of the fastest and most sophisticated means of communication ever devised. You have the power to made demands… But first you have to get mad”

Don’t worry… I’m mad. And you should be too. So as you start to educate yourself about the horrific state our generation is in, don’t worry, there is a sliver of justice in sight. The joke will be on those leaving us behind… because who are they going to rely on as they get older?…

“Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army” ~Edward Everett

A Message from the Bitch Bible

“Because she loves herself, the bitch doesn’t want anyone who doesn’t want her” –Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov.

While the word “bitch” stirs discontent in some people, I embrace the idea of the “bitch”. A “bitch” is a woman who attracts men by simply standing up for herself. Why Men Love Bitches is a book that I recommend to ALL women. I have even bought it for a few friends of mine. I regard it as a kind of bible for today’s modern woman.

Take today’s quote: “Because she loves herself, the bitch doesn’t want anyone who doesn’t want her”. Take a moment… let it sink in. Have you ever wanted to chase someone down, a friend, a boyfriend, a parent, and almost beg them to love you? I had a boyfriend once who was distant, hard to reach, and would always seem to be one step ahead of me. It drove me crazy. I became desperate, searching for ways for him to notice me, for him to approve of me… my OWN BOYFRIEND! No… this is not acceptable.

If someone doesn’t want you… why would you waste your time chasing after them? To me, an elegant, confident… dare I say.. “bitch”… would never chase after a person, let alone a man. A true alpha woman let’s men come to her. Her confidence sends out a message, “I don’t need you. While your presence with me would be pleasant, I could just as easily go home, make an ice-cold martini, and settle down with Pride and Prejudice”.

This, ladies, is what drives them crazy.

Now I’m not advocating for any “game playing”. We aren’t in high school anymore. I’m simply suggesting that YOU realize, that you don’t need a man in your life to ENJOY life. Once they realize that you are perfectly content without them, it stirs some sort of primal need to attract their mate. See, back in the caveman days, men were chosen for their physical attributes, their ability to supply food, and various other traits that had to be proven to women. In today’s age, a women will sleep with whoever is closest to her after a few too many cosmos. They don’t have to work anymore. However, a women who can stir up some sort of challenge in a man, a need to impress her, woo her, win her over… THAT is what will draw men to you.

THAT is an alpha female.

The Importance of Friendship

Never underestimate the power of friendship in your life. I never would have gotten through some rough moments in my life without my Alphas. Yes, I do have a mini squad of friends who I’m proud to say are incredible Alpha Females, and an enormous inspiration to me. I have watched their actions, how they speak, act, and love, and that has helped to turn me into the woman I am today.

Surround yourself with people who lift you UP. People who make you feel good about yourself, who you can laugh with, cry with, and raise hell with. I have gone through a lot of trial and error trying to remember how important these people are in my life.

There was an instance with one of my former friends, I’ll call her Turquoise. Her and I went out dancing, which is a perfect go-to evening for two single ladies. I just wanted to dance until my feet hurt with her, and we have to eventually stumble into a cab home and fall asleep still giggling about the terrible pick up lines we had heard that night. But she had other plans. My night turned out exactly as I had planned… but without her. Turquoise proceeded to find a guy, pop me in a cab back to her place, and take off with some stranger. I woke up the next morning with no car, no phone, and no cash (she was supposed to take me home the next day). I realized that what was more important to her was having a man in her bed, not a friend.

So I dumped her.

I have never regretted that decision. You should surround yourself with people who make you feel happy! Getting into little quarrels with your friends is part of any friendship, but if it’s something more, something that makes you feel wrong all the way down to your core. LET THEM GO.

As I preach this, I’m not saying that I am the perfect friend. I admit that I have had my struggles. I have to remind myself every day that friendships are a 50/50 experience. Through my times of weakness, my friends have been around to lift me up. What’s important to remember, is when you are feeling strong again, it might be your friend’s time to be lifted up. While you may know in your heart that you love your friends unconditionally, it might not hurt to make sure they are reminded of that as much as you can.

“But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine”

~Thomas Jefferson

Inspiration.

Let’s get started.

The purpose of this blog is to spread the gospel of Alpha. Not to be sacrilegious (I am a Catholic after all), but the tips and tricks that I have come across over the years should definitely be shared with the world.

Too often I see women allowing their partners to determine their lives. They give up the things that make them unique. They stop going to their cooking classes, bowling nights, spin classes, wine tastings,  and other fun, personal activities, in order to spend time with their men. They forget that each of those activities contribute to the very personality that their men fell in love with!

Watching my friends (and myself!) go through this endless cycle, I realized that something needs to be done. Women need to see that they don’t have to stop doing what makes them WHO they are, in order to please a man!

So what is an Alpha Female, or, as the french say, La Femelle Alpha? She is cunning, intelligent, charming, and has an air of mystery to her. She uses her wit to entertain the people around her. No matter how busy, run down, or exhausted she is, she understands the importance of taking care of HERSELF. She knows that if she fails to maintain what makes her unique, she will spiral deep into the pit of insecurity and uncertainty. She allows herself to fall in love, but still maintains her identity. She does not let a man determine how she runs her life, or who is is. She, is an Alpha Female.

So, this blog will be a compilation of observations, tips, tricks, and personal stories to educate YOU, and people you care about, on how to become an Alpha Female.

“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go”

– Sheila Murray Bethel.